A Grandpa Lost, or Many Gained

On Good Friday, we buried my Grandpa Gliem. And as sad as that may seem, it wasn't, really. The Friday before he had turned 90, which was a feat for his lineage; he was second youngest and outlived his entire family. And he had a massive heart attack... and broke his back in a car accident, and had a pacemaker put in...

He was a tough old guy.

He also was kind enough to give us a week to say goodbye. Most of the family got an intimate last few words with him, and a prayer. I was around a little more than my other cousins, mostly because I'm so much closer. It was a very, very strange week. I always knew Grandpa was going to die, and soon, but when it actually came around, it was surreal. But I said goodbye, and got to hear him whisper, "It's beautiful." as he stared at the ceiling.

And that is what Grandpa Gliem was always about, God. At his funeral, an uncle asked the congregation if Grandpa had ever prayed with them or asked if they knew God, and almost everyone raised their hand. It was his favorite thing to talk about, and the thing he was most passionate about. His whole life was based around Christ, and he let people know about it.

The best story is how he was ready to quit seminary after surviving WWII, because the professors were teaching that parts of the Bible were myths. At the same time, Lutheran Memorial Camp was calling for a temporary director. The seminary shipped Grandpa out as fast as they could. And by the hand of God, Grandpa touched more people's life in that little camp than he ever could have in a church. Generations of kids went through there, workers under him shuffled through the years, even his kids' future spouses worked for him. And from that he built a legacy... for God.

The most amazing quality to his story is his humble beginnings. He came from a rough start, losing his dad early, his mom on bed rest and him taking over the farm, and trying to get an education. When the war started he lied about his age to get in, and was shipped off to Burma where he almost died many times. He found God there, in that godforsaken place, and was so grateful for being rescued that he couldn't help but proclaim God, couldn't be more excited for being taken out of his old life.

And now, a power base in my life is gone. But you know what? I don't think it really has. I have another base in my life. It may not be one man, but many men, desperate to be closer to God. And their story sounds a lot like Grandpa's. Rough beginnings, a divine rescue, and eternal gratitude.

And on Tuesday I sat with these men, who were flat on their faces on the ground, crying out to God to help those in need, and nurture our weak souls. If that isn't an oak like faith, I don't know what is.

I may have lost my last Grandpa, but I feel I've gained several more.



And I think Grandpa would be proud.

A New Dilemma

Well, I was wrong. My piercing dilemma is not over. Well, actually it is over, because I've decided on it.

My manager called me today to confirm my schedule for the week. And then she tells me, the boss is not happy with the piercing. Still. Even with the clear plastic retainer. AND HR of the building, who technically own the coffee shop, are also opposed to metal through skin.

My manager put it that the more the boss thought about it the more it frustrated him. And that makes me wonder. If he gets frustrated over something this small... what else would he get upset over?

I've been going back and forth on this all day. I wonder if its worth working at a place where image is more important than qualifications (because I was assured, 'You could lose your job over this.'), I wonder if I'm putting too much stock into this piercing. Am I being too selfish in thinking I could leave a job to keep it? What if I only have this job for a short time (something that happened to a friend of mine) and then I'm left with a few bucks and no piercing? Why does it matter to me so much? Why does it matter to them so much?

But here's what my mind rested on. I'm pretty sure God lined this job up for me. It fell into place too easily, me being all too qualified, for all of this to be just chance. And I'm not even sure if its for the job, you know? I might just need to be there so I can meet someone, or have another opportunity. And then a thought occurred to me.

There is not much in my life that I have sacrificed for. In fact, I can't really think of anything I had to sacrificed. And it may not seem much to you, but I think this piercing means a lot to me. And giving it up for a minimum-wage job two days a week for maybe a promotion in the future, its a bit of a risk. Because I'm pretty sure I will never get it re-pierced. So here I am.

Mom gave an excellent suggestion. In Judges, Gideon asks God to give him a sign if he's doing the right thing. This isn't saving Israel, but... you know. So I have decided to take it out. I feel a little too dependent on it in the first place, but I'm going to let God decide. I will comply with my boss, and when I return from work tomorrow and I am able to simply put the piercing back in, I will know that God is letting me keep it. If there is no way that piercing is going back... then I guess I have to grow up, move on.

I'm not happy about it, but what sacrifice is?

Boy, that must sound pretty lame.

The Piercing Dilemma

I got a new job! Well, another job. I'm gonna be working at a coffee shop, just Tuesdays and Thursdays to start. Its a very relaxed, cool place, but my favorite thing? Its privately owned. The employees there create sandwiches and create drinks. There is no corporate print-out of what displays need to be up that week, there are no corporate recipes where changes are forbidden, there is, in a word... freedom.

Oooh, I like the sound of that.

And then... a hitch. Andrew, the owner, is giving me an interview and is ready to hire me, except for one thing.

"That piercing's gotta go."

It caught me completely off guard. I told him I hadn't thought about it and he brought it down to this statement, "If you want the job you'll get rid of it." Hmmm... an ultimatum. I don't like ultimatums.

So I said ok, because I really just wanted to think about it. First, I figured I would just take it out during work, and put it back in after. But after I tried it this weekend, it started to seal up after only a couple hours! I didn't want to just give it up, its more than just metal in my face. Its a memory.

After living in Australia, we went to New Zealand, and on the day before I left for home, I got this piercing. This piercing is the culmination of four months abroad. Its like the flag at the top of the mountain. Every time I see it in the mirror I think of Joe and Danielle. I hear David's laugh and see Bangor's squinty smile. I think of dancing in the street with Liz, chats with Kimberly, the Blue Mountains and petting kangaroos, singing in the pool and swimming in the Pacific, Tasmania, weekend markets, and singing with Kathy while filling an office full of balloons. Its very meaningful to me.

And I didn't realize that until someone wanted to take it away. Funny how that always is. BUT. I have a clear plastic retainer that I put in for piercing-inappropriate occasions, making it invisible. Usually plays and movies and such. I decided I would call Andrew and give the proposal. Easier said than done.

Andrew is a successful businessman and a boisterous Italian. He's intimidating. So I had to bolster up the courage and finally made the call. And you know what? He said the retainer was ok.

Really? ...oh, well thank you. Thank you very much!

I was surprised to see how troubled I became when I had to give it up. Its just a piercing, isn't it? Or is it? I feel like since everyone who was with me in Australia is so far away now... this piercing is the last thing that ties me to them.

Or something...

Its given me something to think about.

Encouragment

I just got back from the first Emmaus Closing that I've been to where I wasn't involved in the walk. And it was just as good as the others.

There is something encouraging about seeing men genuinely happy, fulfilled even. Its even more a something to see them cry. Seeing a Closing is a good reminder that things are happening around you that you're probably not even aware of. God is moving every second of the day and working in people's lives with the tiniest nudge, or an overwhelming shove.

I'm glad I got reminded. I love hearing people's stories, and I love to see when people get God's love. Its a good thing.

A New Way of Thinking

I just read this profound statement by C.S. Lewis, someone who can always seem to see a different perspective on things.

From The Problem of Pain:

"We have a strange illusion that mere time cancels sin. I have heard others, and I have heard myself, recounting cruelties and falsehoods committed in boyhood as if they were no concern of the present speaker's, and even with laughter. But mere time does nothing either to the fact or to the guilt of a sin. The guilt is washed out not by time but by repentance and the blood of Christ: if we have repented these early sins we should remember the price of our forgiveness and be humble. As for the fact of a sin, is it probable that anything cancels it? All times are eternally present to God. Is it not at least possible that along some one line of His multi-dimensional eternity He sees you forever in the nursery pulling the wings off a fly, forever toadying (sycophant), lying, and lusting as a schoolboy, forever in that moment of cowardice or insolence as a subaltern (subordinate)? It may be that salvation consists not in the canceling of these eternal moments but in the perfected humanity that bears the shame forever, rejoicing in the occasion which it furnished to God's compassion and glad that it should be common knowledge to the universe. Perhaps in that eternal moment St. Peter - he will forgive me if I am wrong - forever denies his Master. If so, it would indeed be true that the joys of Heaven are for most of us, in our present condition, 'an acquired taste' - and certain ways of life may render the taste impossible of acquisition. Perhaps the lost are those who dare not go to such a public place. Of course I do not know that this is true; but I think the possibility is worth keeping in mind."

Isn't that mind-boggling? And I read this on the day I sin. It was as if God were telling me, "Forgiveness is possible, and yes even forgetting, but nothing can undo it." This idea is something that never makes me want to consciously sin ever again. I am eternally grateful for the never-ending stream of grace that pours out of God onto this lowly wretch, but knowing this. All the mistakes I've ever put upon myself can never be undone. They are part of my story forever.

So I want to live a better story, because this one can't be edited.

Get Up!

God is good. I... am lazy.

I have a lot of ideas in my head, its almost ready to explode. Some of them are attainable, I don't fret about them one bit. Others are fairly large, and I wonder if they'll ever come to fruition. But you know what I do with ALL of them? Nothing.

There in lies my greatest weakness: motivation. I have none, or too little to speak of. I have lots of ideas, but no fuel for the engine. And whose fault is that?

Mine. God's been quiet lately. I don't know what His plans are, but its been pretty frustrating. No leads, no confirmations, no good suggestions, nothing. Just me plodding away, ideas popping into my head, and wondering if anything will come of it. Tonight I asked God for a word, for anything. Then I went to meet a friend for dinner.

It was a good talk. I hadn't expected the conversation to go the path it did, but I'm glad. Instead of talking about how sorry I feel for myself, we talked about action. And that's what was always goading me; I never take action. We tried hashing out ideas for what I should do career-wise and all of a sudden God prompts me to talk about a musical idea I had four years ago. Four years ago. As I tell my friend about it, some of the scenes, how powerful the music can be, and how great it could be, he says one simple little sentence.

"So do it."

Its stupid how cloudy I can make my own vision. Its incredible how lazy I can be. And I think my lethargy springs from fear, not apathy. I'm not lazy because I just don't care, I'm afraid of the consequences. I put things off because of what might happen. What if I invest time and money and it fails? What if I get something good and no one wants to run it? And strangest of all, what if it succeeds? Then everything will change.

As we discussed this, I realized how unfounded these thoughts were, and with that simple phrase, so do it, I realized how much time I was wasting. Why do I put things off? And where in my brain did it ever occur that sitting around wondering if it will happen was a logical way to get it done?

I need to... just do it. So I will.
This idea is bigger, and will take a lot of work, but I believe it will bring God the most glory. And since its too big for me to accomplish on my own, I am confident that I will get to see God work.

So here we go...



... let's get to work.

Divine Intervention

This weekend I got to be apart of a short film. My friends joined a film festival called the 168 Project, a Christian competition where you are assigned a bible verse, and you write a story based on it and the year's theme.

This year's theme was the Voice of God. We did a silent film :)

I really enjoyed the experience, because it was fun and creative and etc., but also because God was obviously involved. First off, the script was written with an indoor street scene in mind at COSI. After a lot of negotiation they allowed us two hours. Well, that wouldn't work for a 30 second commercial so my friends had to rewrite. Instead of going down to Columbus, they rewrote it for an old candy store in Mount Vernon (where they live), and my gosh, you would not believe how perfect everything worked out.

God said, this is the way I want you to do it, and it was done. Actors they had in mind had to be replaced for time constraints and others came in on short notice, and proved to be better. The costumes were all donated for free, the candy shop asked nothing in return, save some pictures for his wall. We were in the paper, we were done within the time limit, we had everything we needed, and... from what I saw of the dailies, it looks great.

The movie is called Divine Intervention, and I don't think we could have a better title. For me, the moment I saw God was when we went to lunch. The directors were getting stressed and needed a little downtime. They had decided to do the outside scenes after we ate. While we were eating, it started snowing. A perfect snow, not too big, not too small. It fell gently for the entire time we shot, and when we went back in... it fizzled out and stopped. That was God for me.

Oh, yeah, our verse we got. It was 1 Sam. 3:10 where God calls and Samuel says, "Speak, for your servant is listening."

We finished shooting on Saturday, and when I got home that night, I read Oswald Chambers for the day. I thought it very interesting.



God was definitely speaking. I'm just glad we were able to hear this time.