From The Problem of Pain:
"We have a strange illusion that mere time cancels sin. I have heard others, and I have heard myself, recounting cruelties and falsehoods committed in boyhood as if they were no concern of the present speaker's, and even with laughter. But mere time does nothing either to the fact or to the guilt of a sin. The guilt is washed out not by time but by repentance and the blood of Christ: if we have repented these early sins we should remember the price of our forgiveness and be humble. As for the fact of a sin, is it probable that anything cancels it? All times are eternally present to God. Is it not at least possible that along some one line of His multi-dimensional eternity He sees you forever in the nursery pulling the wings off a fly, forever toadying (sycophant), lying, and lusting as a schoolboy, forever in that moment of cowardice or insolence as a subaltern (subordinate)? It may be that salvation consists not in the canceling of these eternal moments but in the perfected humanity that bears the shame forever, rejoicing in the occasion which it furnished to God's compassion and glad that it should be common knowledge to the universe. Perhaps in that eternal moment St. Peter - he will forgive me if I am wrong - forever denies his Master. If so, it would indeed be true that the joys of Heaven are for most of us, in our present condition, 'an acquired taste' - and certain ways of life may render the taste impossible of acquisition. Perhaps the lost are those who dare not go to such a public place. Of course I do not know that this is true; but I think the possibility is worth keeping in mind."
Isn't that mind-boggling? And I read this on the day I sin. It was as if God were telling me, "Forgiveness is possible, and yes even forgetting, but nothing can undo it." This idea is something that never makes me want to consciously sin ever again. I am eternally grateful for the never-ending stream of grace that pours out of God onto this lowly wretch, but knowing this. All the mistakes I've ever put upon myself can never be undone. They are part of my story forever.
So I want to live a better story, because this one can't be edited.
What about 2 Cor. 5:17? "If any man is in Christ, he is a NEW creature; the old things are PASSED AWAY, behold, new things have come." OR Phil. 3:forgetting what lies behind, and reaching for what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God."
ReplyDeleteYes,our sins are forever seen, but covered with that precious blood. I spent too many years dwelling on what I had done, and too little time "pressing forward to what lies ahead". A regret for me.
That's true, but listen to my thinking. My life is a story. It is true that my sins have been washed from existence, but the actions that created that sin are apart of my story. I can't forget them because they are the moments when God was greatest in my life. Being forgiven doesn't erase your past or I would have woke this morning with no memory before lifting my head off the pillow.
ReplyDeleteBut I won't dwell on those, that's for sure. If anything I will press forward to what lies ahead with even more drive than before because now I recognize my life is an unbroken story, one you can't go back and change. That will guide my steps in the future.
ahh i'm scared. but yes. i'll do it. and please! lets support each other. and write our progress or something. this is scary. tell me what you're doing!!!! or you dont have to-either way.
ReplyDeletei'm working on a few songs right now. so we'll see. ahh!
this is a good idea tho. very gooood.