Breaking Up

I'm so tired of TV. I feel like that's all I do when I'm not working. I'm tired of this computer too. When I'm not watching TV I'm usually on the computer. Or both. Don't get me wrong, there are good things on TV. Actually right now there are so many good shows on that I can't keep up. So some nights we pack in a few shows back to back just to catch up. Tonight we got in two and Mom wanted to go on to another. I said, "Are we just going to watch TV all night?". To which she said, "Ethan, you say that all the time but then you just go get on your computer."

She's right. I mean, look at me, I'm writing a blog post! And when I do get on the computer, I just check my social networks (facebook, xanga, other blogs) and then... well, I really don't know what else to do on the internet.

I miss people. I harken back to my college days a lot, but its really a huge reference point for me. When I was in college, there was one thing that was never lacking: conversation. There are people, everywhere. You eat together, study together, learn together, worship together, live together, and when I was a freshman, shower together. I mean, being alone is a luxury in college. But the old saying is so very true; you don't know what you have until its gone. I would scrounge for time by myself back then. Time to read or just have some quiet. But now...

Now I have so much time to myself that I could have built a scale model of London out of toothpicks in a couple of days. I miss the people. Granted I'm not alone, but its nothing like college. Wonderful conversations would just sprout out of nowhere, at times you never would have expected (the bathroom in the Den at 1 am, an empty theatre before practice, the cafeteria between meals). I was challenged intellectually. I had discussions about Jesus. I had discussions about movies. Ideas were created, about plays, games, parties, travel, projects. Some of them even came through. I got to learn about people's lives, their troubles, their dreams. I got hear stories one after another. And there was more laughing than I could handle.

I may be an introvert, but I need people in my life. Bad. Right now, people are at a distance, literally. And I don't really know what to do about that. But I can tell you one thing. That box and this screen I'm staring at right now... they will never be able to offer me a fraction of what those people in college could. So TV and me, we're gonna start growing apart, I'm afraid. You've been a reliable companion I'll admit it... but you're bringing me down, box.

Things have got to change, and there are so much better things for me to do.