Men's Retreat

This last weekend I went on a retreat with some very dear friends to a ranch over the hills east. What a wonderful time; quiet, comfortable, intimate, revealing. There is nothing like the brotherhood I have fallen into by the Grace of God, but I will write about that later. Right now I want to tell a little story of my trip.

There was a time to go walking in the woods, by ourselves, to wait on God. Kenny encouraged us to bring something back, something you wrote, something you heard, a rock, a leaf, anything. Just something to share when we all came back together. I set out around the fences determined to find my "spot", where God would speak to me. The ranch is 500 acres and is covered in woods that are crisscrossed with muddy cow paths and electric fences. The going was especially rough with all the wet weather we have been having so ground sunk with every step, and all the cow paths were rutted and littered with landmines. I was soaked with sweat in a matter of minutes. After passing one of my buddies on a fallen tree I found the electric fence barrier. I really wanted to go past it and head deep into the woods so I followed along to find a way over. A cow path ran alongside it, and the easiest spot to traverse was between the fence and muddy hoofprints. One little slip and, ZAP. I finally figured that there was no way over the fence so I headed back into the woods.
After crossing the tiny creek, I came upon a field. It was very weedy and I didn't really want to run through because of ticks. So I turned and found a little path through the trees. I trudged through some thorns and mud to find a nice view of the valley. I turned to find a log toppled right at the beginning of the hill creating a perfect natural bench. My Spot.

I settled down and began to listen. I asked God to speak, and I waited. Instead of revelations I got insects. Everything came out of the woodwork, literally! Flies, mosquitoes, daddy long legs, even jiggers! I wasn't down with any of this. But I wanted to hear from God, so I waited. I kept thinking of what Kenny said, to bring something. Right at my feet was an enormous seed growing from a plant. I thought that was exactly what I should bring back. After a minute of staring at it, though, I realized, that seed meant nothing to me. I would be sharing it for sharing's sake, and that plant had worked so hard to make it. So I waited some more, batting the bugs away.

Finally a few raindrops started to fall, and I didn't want my papers getting soaked. I went back to the field and dashed through it to a cow path on the other side. When I traveled down it in the direction of the lodge I came upon the muddiest, steepest trail yet, and there was no way around, I would have to go through or go back. Slowly but surely I stepped from grassy spot to grassy spot in the mudslick. I even tried to use fallen branches to walk across but that ended badly. Finally I got to some water at the bottom of the hill, and washed my shoes, all the while looking for the "thing" I'm supposed to bring back. Nothing there. I hopped up the other side of the hill and broke the tree line. A buddy spotted me and yelled from the lodge, and I started around the fences back up to him. The rest of the way there I kept thinking how disappointed I was. That God hadn't spoke, that I hadn't heard him, that I was soaked, tired, muddy... and empty handed.

Right when I stepped onto the path next to the lodge, I looked down. And I saw something.

Before we went out we had been discussing names, new names, and what they meant. Rev. 2:17 was brought up: "He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give him a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him who receives it." So when I looked down, I couldn't help but smile. This is what I found.


A little white stone. When I washed it off (along with myself), I discovered it was pearly and completely smooth. I loved it. I found it interesting that in my endeavor to go out and meet God in a moment of my own choosing, my real revelation came in the journey itself. I saw more of life's lessons in walking the edge of two undesirable paths; in realizing the rocks were the most stable places to walk when crossing the mud; in seeing God's details while watching a daddy long legs use his front legs to tap out a path on a leaf. God came over the whole experience, not in one moment. And in the end, once I had overcome the woods, bitten, muddy and sweaty, I was given a white stone.

So where is the name, you ask? Well there wasn't anything on the outside, but that just brings us to the end of the story. I had actually found two, and one I gave to a friend who I thought could use it. He discovered the stone was actually a bit see through. He asked if I had looked in mine and of course, I hadn't. So he took it, trying to find the best light, finally finding it in the bathroom. After a moment he called me over and told me to look through. There, in just the right light, very faint, was a cross.

My name may not be written on the stone, but a more important one is etched inside it. And that is the name of the One who helps us overcome in the first place, because He truly Overcame.